Japanese Dating Culture: 3 Places to Avoid for a First Date

AUTHOR

Admin

DATE

January 14, 2022

CATEGORY

GIRLS AND DATING

Last week, I went to a 4 x 4 Gokon Party with a few of my friends from work. Unfortunately, the girls weren’t the best pick of the bunch so I’ll tell you straight out that nothing good came out of the night. However, me being the only foreigner there did spark some interesting conversations about the differences in Japanese dating culture when compared to the west. A topic of conversation that the four attending girls raved on about was ‘Places to go on a date’. In particular, where Japanese girls ‘Don’t like to go on a first date’. And they had quite the mouthful to say as well. A portion of the conversation was them bitching on about how useless Japanese Herbivore men are, which me and all the guys obviously ignored. But there were some points that were worth some note. So, in this post, I will share the comments and opinions that I picked up on where to avoid for first dates from these gokon girls. Note: These are some personal opinions of the four girls at the Gokon. And of course not a completely accurate representation of the whole Japanese female population. But there are some ‘Ahhh fair enough’ points that may present a few hints for Bros who want to take a more careful approach to the Japanese dating culture. Ok, so let’s get started! Japanese Dating Culture 3 Places to Avoid for a First Date - Karaoke

First Dates in Japanese Dating Culture: Avoid a Karaoke Box

When you think of the Japanese drinking, nightlife and dating culture, you may instantly think that a karaoke box is popular for dates. After all, the term ‘karaoke’ did come from Japan. It’s a great spot for a bit of privacy, and you have the aid of music to help you keep the date fun and upbeat. However, according to the gokon girls, when it comes to a ‘First Date’ it apparently isn’t a favorable place at all. Here are the reasons why!

It’s hard to have a proper conversation

One girl said ... “First and foremost, when you are in a karaoke room with the music blasting it obviously isn’t the best place to talk. When one person finishes singing, the other has their turn right? If you are consistently taking turns singing (or singing together) then it only leaves the slim time between songs to actually have some sort of decent conversation. If you already know each other or have been on several dates it's not a problem. But on a first date, I want to learn more about the guy and see if there is anything we can connect and relate to. If he is too busy trying to get his money worth out of an hour of karaoke then the only thing I would learn is how good or how shit he is at singing.”

Some girls are too shy to sing

Another girl said ... “It’s true that the Japanese love karaoke and is a huge part of the Japanese dating culture. And stereotypically, Japanese girls absolutely love it. However, there are girls out there that are really shy and find it nerve-wracking to sing in front of someone. Especially if it is a one-on-one situation, and even more if it is someone of the opposite sex. I’m one of those girls who likes the karaoke atmosphere but tentative to actually sing. If a guy invites me or makes a plan to go to karaoke on the first date, I wouldn’t refuse, and most girls won’t. But having the guy as a one person audience really makes me nervous and it really is unnecessary stress for a first date."

Everyone has a different preference for music

Another girl chipped in ... “We all have different tastes and preferences for music. And when it doesn’t match it can be an ear-tearing nightmare. The guy might like heavy rock and I might like singing love songs. (Or vice-versa). If both parties are flexible and we can find some common ground in song selections then I can bare it. But if not, then I (and he) are stuck having to listen and clap along to songs that we have no interest in. For the whole time! Not only does it get tiring after the 4th or 5th song, but there is a limit to how much a person can fake interest in something right? It’s better to leave those ‘learning to accept differences’ aspects until we are actually going out.” Japanese Dating Culture 3 Places to Avoid for a First Date - Amusement

First Dates in Japanese Dating Culture: Avoid an Amusement Park

Once again a place that would seem like a typically popular date spot in Japanese dating culture. Amusement parks like Disneyland or USJ in Osaka are filled with attractions, restaurants, and stuff to do all day long. You would think that it would be a good place to make sure your date has a fun-filled day. Apparently not for the first date for these gokon girls. Here are the reasons why!

Making conversation when waiting in line

One girl said ... “Amusement parks can get extremely crowded, especially on a weekend or public holiday. The lines for a roller coaster can get very long. Sometimes more than a 2-hour wait. For some Japanese girls, waiting isn’t such a hard thing to endure. It’s the filling of the waiting time with a conversation that can be the biggest problem. Compared to a karaoke date there should be more than enough time to chat and get to know each other which is great. But once we start to run out of things to talk about, there is just nowhere no way out. There are only two options. Stand in dead silence or force conversation. Both that can lead to awkwardness.”

The worst of a person comes out when they are tired

Another girl said ... “An amusement park is fun, but it can be really exhausting too. Walking around the whole day, waiting in long lines and having to wade through waves of people. It’s natural for someone to get a little irritated. Me or my date. With frustration comes impatience and all the other ‘flaws’ that you really don’t want to be showing on a first date, and so early in a relationship. For couples in a long relationship, you do learn to accept the ‘good and bad’ of your partner. But on a first date the smallest things can end up ruining the mood of a date, and the first impression you leave on your partner.”

Japanese girls want to dress up

Lastly, a girl topped it off with ... “This may be a very girl thing and something that guys will definitely not understand. But on a first date, Japanese girls spend a lot of time (sometimes hours) on getting ready to dress to impress. We want to dress up in skirts and high heels. Amusement parks are fun of course! But it’s a difficult place to look good. If we wear heels we die from walking around the whole day. We dress up in nice clothes, only to get drenched in sweat or water from a roller coaster. Not to mention our ‘perfectly’ set hair goes crazy after one or two rollercoaster rides. Somewhere subtle relaxed would definitely be a better place for a first date.” Japanese Dating Culture 3 Places to Avoid for a First Date - Restaurant

First Dates in Japanese Dating Culture: Avoid these Restaurants

When it comes to a choosing a place to eat most would think that anywhere is fine as long as it’s delicious, convenient and relatively trendy right? Maybe somewhere a little bit fancy too. However, it may not be as simple in the POV of girls in Japanese dating culture. Apparently, there are certain foods and restaurants that just don’t go down well for a first date. Here are some places and why!

A pasta or spaghetti restaurant

One girl said ... “Italian food is delicious and all, but pasta and spaghetti are food that can really be dangerous on the first date for girls. The biggest reason is that it can get messy and if something like meat sauce ends up flicking onto our clothes there is no way to hide it for the rest of the date and can turn into an instant mood killer."

A yakiniku restaurant

Another girl said … “There are Japanese girls out there that probably don’t care and love yakiniku. However, I know there are some that really worry about the smell of a yakiniku restaurant. Whenever you go, you end up smelling completely of smoke and greasy oil. It’s really hard to get rid of the smell from clothes that you can’t wash often like blazers and jackets. It's a place that would be most appreciated if avoided at least on the first date."

A restaurant with spicy food

Lastly… “Spicy food makes you sweat. And that is something we don’t want to be showing our partners on the first date! It's not just the problem of having a sweat patch or a few drops of sweat on our forehead. Sweat and makeup do not mix well! The more we sweat the more it runs, and the more we have to fix it up!"

In Conclusion

There you have it! 3 places (actually 5 if you count each restaurant) that you might be better off avoiding for a first date with a Japanese girl. Courtesy of the 4 random girls from a gokon dating party. These gokon girls were regular working girls in their mid 20's. There wasn't much of a variety. So I know that opinions will differ depending on age and of course type of girl. Uptight and posh girls would most likely have a different opinion like "Anywhere without fine wine and a view" etc. However, the reason I brought this topic up was because I couldn't think of a situation where I have heard girls from back home complain about these kinds of small things. And found it interesting that Japanese girls do. Not to mention, unless you have girls buddies that you can talk to about anything, you would probably never know there are girls out there that think like this. Some of the above just seem so petty (but important to girls) that they would rarely say it out loud. In the end, it really does depend on the person, but hopefully, this was some interesting insight into the minds of Japanese girls and Japanese dating culture! It really does show that the Japanese are very 'detailed' for better or worse. Might be a good idea to double-check your next date spot just in case!

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