SCORING A DATE WITH A JAPANESE GIRL AS AN EIKAIWA TEACHER

Assuming that you’re finally in Japan. You’ve landed a job working at an English conversation school (Eikaiwa) like the vast majority of foreign expats. You will soon figure out that the work of an Eikaiwa teacher is borderline slave labor. BUT if you can manage to put up with it, working at an English school does have some benefits. Actually really only one... You have an endless flow of Japanese female students to chat up and target for a date. I would compare working at an Eikaiwa with working at a host club without the alcohol. You talk to women, compliment them, and make them feel good about themselves. They come back again and again for more. If you play your cards right, they come especially to just see you. I can bet my life on that most of these Japanese girls who go an Eikaiwa want to try a dating foreigner deep down inside. The only thing standing in between you giving them a taste is your loyalty to your school. Or just fear of losing your job.

CAN YOU DATE YOUR JAPANESE STUDENTS?

The biggest dilemma of being in an Eikaiwa is being surrounded by girls that you can look at, but not touch. It has to be the biggest tease that I've had in my life. Before you start working, "DON'T FUCKING TOUCH STUDENTS" and “DON’T EXCHANGE PERSONAL INFORMATION” are things written in bold in your contract. But sooner or later your inner sense of morality will melt throughout the years of missing chances with extremely hot girls. Don't be a wasteful idiot! Don’t miss your chance. Just don’t get caught! If you're a sly bugger, and don't give a shit about rules, this is for you.

TPO WHEN ASKING FOR A DATE

First of all, have you ever heard of TPO? I first heard of this acronym after coming to Japan. It's used for business or social situations. Basically, it stands for Time, Place, and Opportunity. In order to get a date with your Japanese students, you must find the perfect balance between these three factors. You have to use your brain and play it smart. In addition to TPO, you’ll have to be good at telling if and when a girl is attracted to you. Hit on a student who you falsely believe is into you, she will snitch, and then your career as an English teacher is over...Well, not really, but you risk having people around you lose their trust in you. So granted that you have a student, or students already interested in you. Here are a few of my very own techniques you can use to get numbers (or give out your own) to organize a private date out of the classroom.

CONNECTING ON SOCIAL MEDIA

This is less a technique but more of relying on the power and influence of social media in Japan. The Japanese love Facebook, twitter, and Instagram. There is a good possibility they will net stalk you a little. Your Japanese students know your name. In this day and age, they can quickly search you up on the net. If you want to nudge them in the right direction, mention a few of the social media platforms you are using. Tell your students what you are listed as, and even spell it out for them on a piece of paper at the end of a lesson. There’s always a chance that they’d try to look you up. (I’d say 5~10% if you charm them off their feet during your lesson). If you manage to connect, chat and invite them out on a date away from the boundaries of your school and managers. There is nothing your school can do about it!

HANDING OUT BUSINESS CARDS

This is a little difficult because you have to beat around the bush. Not to mention, you have to already be doing something else besides English teaching that requires a business card. Not many teachers carry a business card, right? Handing over a business card (Meishi) is very normal in Japan, it can work. As business cards are a formality, this is probably the safest way to pass your details over without stirring up any suspicion. Get her attention by connecting whatever side job you have with her interests or hobbies. Maybe you are a tour guide with lots of information on good restaurants, an event planner that can get her into a popular event, working at a bar she may be interested in ETC. If you get her attention, pass that bad boy over. “This is another job that I’ve been working for. If you’re interested, I could connect you to…”, yadda yadda yadda. Remeber, this also requires a lot of skillful hinting. As you’re not directly asking them to call you for a date or any intimacy, but business. It’s kind of like “Call me... if you want”.

PLAY THE HELPLESS FOREIGNER

Many of my sexy Japanese students have a job, hobby or some sort of expertise. Yoga, Pilates, Fitness instructor, Credit card rep, Insurance rep, Restaurant, ETC. Use it as an advantage. Focus your conversation topics on what they know best and relate (forcibly when need be) to their jobs or interests. Make up a story about 'How you always wanted to try Yoga!' or 'How you are looking for a new car insurance company to switch to' and such. Even if you don't need it, ask them directly for their advice and help. If they offer themselves to personally help you, well the doors are wide open! If not, play the helpless foreigner card as much as possible. "I couldn't understand the registration form with my bad Japanese" "I went to where you told me to go but I couldn't find it..." There is a saying in Japan 'Iidashippe' meaning 'The one who says (or suggests) something has to go through with it. The Japanese focus strongly on obligations. If they gave you advice on something and it didn't work out, they will do anything to make up for it. Use this to get the girls to do the inviting first. If you didn't initiate it, you aren't at fault right?

RANGE OF INDIRECT APPROACHES

Here are just a few other approaches I have used to get students numbers away from the classroom. ・Getting groups of students together outside of school. Invite students out in a big group to something like an international event. The more people the less suspicious. Find a way to get a little bit of private time to hit on your targets. ・Introducing girls to use language exchange applications. Get your students to register on a language app such as Hellotalk. Make your own account and track her down through the app. ・Recommend a foreigner's bar. Introduce a nearby foreigner bar, encouraging her to practice her English there. Call it fate when you happen to bump into her.

PASSING LOVE NOTES

Lastly, the good ol’ fashioned number on paper is great. As passing a little secret note all 'hush hush' reeks of 'I Want You' and can be seen as quite direct in Japan, they are the riskiest and you need that TPO. Try adding some skillful gestures while saying some bullshit related to English to mask any suspicion from surrounding employees and students. (shhh...I’m writing my info down..so don’t fucking act weird). If you work at a bigger English conversation school which has no partitions and transparent walls, then you’re pretty much screwed. Think of another way to give it to her. I’d say be creative. Make an airplane, paper crane, a paper flower, ETC. Just let her know that something valuable is in there.

MILK YOUR POSITION AS A TEACHER!

With the tips I provided for you, you should be having dates in no time! I’d say being an English teacher in Japan gives you a lot of power to influence people, just because you can speak English. Use this as an advantage to gain success with women and just life in general. After being overly conscious when trying to date students, I soon realized that dating within your school isn’t that bad. Especially if it’s a mutual consent between you and the girl. Shit, maybe you’ll end up meeting your soulmate one day and everything will just click. So just remember, TPO, play it safe, use your brain, and use your bad ass fucking charm to get the ladies. There's also that saying "Don't shit in your own backyard". But hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.