JAPANESE GIRLS DATING FOREIGNERS: THE FEMALE POV

Many might agree with me when I say ‘Getting a Japanese girl is easy. But maintaining the relationship is the hard part’. When dating Japanese women, at some point you may encounter some relationship turbulence due to differences in culture. It could be something simple like differences in table manners, to something more complex like social values and opinions. During a long-ish relationship, there definitely will be something that you just don’t agree on. Or that just completely pisses you off. But it’s a two-way street and the same goes for Japanese girls dating foreigners too. In a hot new relationship sometimes we forget that our partners might not have the same ‘way of thinking’ as our ex-girlfriends from back home. Something that is normal or understood in our culture, could be troubling to girls in a different one. In order to keep a peaceful relationship with a Japanese girl, we need to adapt. We don't have to change! we just have to remember to ‘localize’ when necessary. Assuming that you are aiming for a more serious relationship, rather than a one night stand.

SURVEYING 30 JAPANESE GIRLS DATING FOREIGNERS

Now, for Bros who are new to dating Japanese girls, or for those who are currently dating one and having some problems, I may have something interesting for you. I went out and got comments from 30 Japanese girls who have experience dating foreign men. Out of these Japanese girls, 11 are currently dating a foreigner and the other 19 have dated a foreigner in the past. Surprisingly, they all had a lot to say about Japanese girls dating foreigners. The aim of my interviews was to find out what Japanese girls dating foreigners really thought of their relationship and their foreign partner. I wasn’t after the sugar-coated bullshit you find on the TV or magazines, but some real feedback, and the good and bad. With this quick little survey, I hoped to get an idea of where we come in when compared to Japanese men. Also, what were are doing right and what we could be doing wrong. Most importantly find some hints to help Bros (and myself) continue a relationship with a Japanese girl. Below I have pulled together the Top Pros and Top Cons that Japanese girls dating foreigners said they experienced with their partners. Remember, these opinions are all from a female POV. It takes two to tango so there is always the boyfriends counter argument. But for reference sake, I will focus only on the Japanese girls.

THE CONS EXPERIENCED BY JAPANESE GIRLS DATING FOREIGNERS

FOREIGN BOYFRIENDS ARE BOASTFUL AND BRAG A LOT

The group of Japanese girls we interviewed said: Foreign men frequently boast about their past glories, heroic stories, talents, achievements, and their conquests with women. We understand that talking themselves up and having confidence is an important method of self-appeal. However, for the Japanese who are more familiar with the modest nature of the Japanese culture, constant bragging is very intimidating. Especially at first. Japanese girls dating foreigners all say that they tend to hear the same ‘amazing’ stories from their boyfriends. Repeated over and over again and sometimes to a point that it can sound like a broken record.

FOREIGN BOYFRIENDS ARE SELF CENTERED AND SELFISH

The group of Japanese girls we interviewed said: A common flaw in foreign men is that they stick persistently to their opinions and ideas. Once their mind is set on one idea, they become uncooperative towards things they dislike or can’t understand. They have the tendency to put their values first and protect their personal policies. Even if it means breaking rules or being a nuisance to someone. The majority of Japanese girls dating foreigners have experienced an embarrassing situation where their partner will say something or do something in the wrong time or place. In Japanese, it is called 'KY'. Not the jelly, but it stands for 'Kuuki wo Yomenai' (Can't read between the lines).

FOREIGN BOYFRIENDS ARE OFTEN THE JEALOUS TYPE

The group of Japanese girls we interviewed said: When it comes to relationships, foreign men tend to be the jealous type. They get sulky when you mention another man’s name. Even stop you from hanging out with your guy friends. In extreme cases, some Japanese girls dating foreigners have experienced their boyfriend losing his temper at the sight of them talking to another man! These jealous types see other men as bloodthirsty wolves, ready to prance if given a chance. Being jealous is understandable and may even be a sign of their devotion. However, Japanese girls dating foreigners feel that at times it can be at an extreme level.

FOREIGN BOYFRIENDS LIE A LOT

The group of Japanese girls we interviewed said: Foreign men have the tendency to lie more than Japanese men. When they’re late for a date, forget to keep a promise, or get into an argument, in any of these situations, a foreign boyfriend may lie in an attempt to make themselves look better. At times, these would be juvenile and obvious lies, which gets frustrating as lies build up. As understandable as this is, Japanese girls dating foreigners end up having to give in and learn to let things go, just to maintain a stress-free relationship.

FOREIGN BOYFRIENDS ARE OVER-EMOTIONAL

The group of Japanese girls we interviewed said: Some foreign men are an emotional rollercoaster. They can be kind and loving one minute, and raging with anger in the next. In more extreme situations, they could suddenly start crying and sobbing. It is an honorable thing for men to show and express their feelings. However, compared to Japanese men, their everyday life is fueled by and influenced greatly by their emotions. The emotional trigger in foreign men is easily pulled, and many Japanese dating foreigners say that it is the cause for a lot of fights.

THE PROS EXPERIENCED BY JAPANESE GIRLS DATING FOREIGNERS

FOREIGN BOYFRIENDS ARE A TRUE GENTLEMAN

The group of Japanese girls we interviewed said: Japanese girls dating foreigners say the major perk of a foreign boyfriend is that they have a ‘ladies first’ mindset. Foreign men are taught from an early age to be a gentleman and treat women with respect. Such as on a date night, a foreign boyfriend would hold open the door for their partners or even pull out their chair. Also, a foreign boyfriend is a lot more tolerant with stubborn requests made by their girlfriends. These “ladies-first” qualities are very rare in Japanese men. And is one of the major reasons why they are more attractive than Japanese boyfriends.

FOREIGN BOYFRIENDS EXPRESS THEIR LOVE

The group of Japanese girls we interviewed said: Another admirable quality of a foreign boyfriend is their constant reminder of their love to girlfriends. Japanese men are rather shy when it comes to expressing their feelings, but a foreign man is quite the opposite. They shower their partners with words of affection every day, and no women wouldn’t like that. In some cases, it may seem extreme, but it does make us feel like the most loved woman in the whole world. Japanese girls dating foreign men feel like they are a heroine of a love story movie, and at times completely swept off their feet.

FOREIGN BOYFRIENDS ARE PHYSICALLY INTIMATE

The group of Japanese girls we interviewed said: Foreign men show no hesitancy for public displays of affection. Holding hands or locking shoulders are a natural form of communication and affection. Being Japanese, all this could be rather embarrassing or nerve-wracking. The for and against of 'Kissing in Public' is divided among Japanese girls dating foreigners. Some don't mind and some do. It depends greatly on the girl and the situation. However, the ability to create a romantic mood anywhere is something Japanese men can't do well. So, if the level of affection isn't over the top, it is a very positive culture shock.

FOREIGN BOYFRIENDS COMPLIMENT A LOT

The group of Japanese girls we interviewed said: Foreign men are very skilled at complimenting another person. They will find all kinds of way to lighten their partner’s day. They shower their girlfriends with compliments on the way they dress, hairstyle, looks, style, and personality. On top of this, these compliments aren't just randomly thought up acts of butt-kissing. Japanese girls dating foreigners were overwhelmed at how much their boyfriends would remember and notice about them. They would notice even the smallest changes such as hairstyle or makeup and always be open to sharing their compliments. Completely different to Japanese men who tend to just say 'Kawaii' (Cute) to anything.

FOREIGN BOYFRIENDS REMEMBER ANNIVERSARIES AND EVENTS

The group of Japanese girls we interviewed said: Birthdays, Christmas, New Years, Easter, Valentines, and of course, anniversaries. Not only would a foreign boyfriend remember these dates, but will make dinner reservations and prepare gifts, making each event magical and memorable. Compared to Japanese men who commonly only try during the 'Wooing Stages', foreign men go out of the way to keep the relationship exciting. Even for the smallest anniversaries and events. Japanese girls dating foreigners all agree that foreign men put in a lot more effort in continuing the relationship. Unlike Japanese men, who tend to give up after they get the girl.

IN CONCLUSION

Did any of the above ring a bell? Personally for me, interviewing these Japanese girls was a great opportunity to look at myself and reflect on my past relationships in a third-person perspective. To be honest, there were a few points that I think I could relate to. Good and bad. Of course, there are points that I don't completely agree with. Such as 'Bragging' and 'Being Selfish'. For me, foreigners aren't too confident, Japanese men are just too quiet and chicken. We aren't selfish, we just make sure to hold a strong opinion. Something that the Japanese also can't do well. Not to mention, the jealous-type can be found in any country and culture. But, this is how these Japanese girls feel and think when dating a foreigner. Once again, remember these are completely one-sided female POV opinions, and every relationship and situation is different. However, if a collective number of Japanese women have similar opinions and experiences, there is bound to be some sort of truth to it. Hopefully, you can use this just as a reference when necessary. Knowing what Japanese girls like and dislike could be the game-changer for your relationship. Hopefully you got some hints from the above. Use them wisely! My next mission is to interview a larger number of girls! Stay tuned.